Given the onslaught of NFL updates here on BL I figure it wouldn’t be complete without giving mention to a relatively new pastime that accompanies every professional football season. Yeah that’s right, it’s fantasy football time. If you haven’t heard of fantasy football all I can tell you is that you need to leave the house more. The shit is real and it is here to stay.
Now is the time when folks gather together, whether virtual or actual, and conduct their annual fantasy football ‘draft’. While I want to say that this activity is partaken by only men the fact is, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Men and women both young and old ‘play’ fantasy football. There are entire websites as well as radio broadcasts and television programs dedicated to fantasy football. The folks that are fantasy football fanatics want to be sure that they get the best insider’s take on which players they should take in order to secure the strongest team so at the end of the season they can claim victory in their fantasy football league.
The only problem I have with fantasy football…
is that it is just that, it’s a complete and total fucking fantasy.
For the life of me I don’t see what the hub-bub is all about. Picking which grown men I am going to cheer for every week as I search for fantasy glory does not really appeal to me whatsoever. I know some people get upset with the use of this word, but to me fantasy football is retarded. I don’t mean that to be offensive to individuals that are mentally under developed. However, I do mean to say that fantasy football is… well… retarded.
What is the appeal? Do fantasy football players feel like they know more about football because the players they picked ran for over 100 yards and scored 2 touchdowns on a given afternoon? Seriously, what’s the draw? I really don’t get it.
If some folks get excited watching other people live their lives and accomplishing their goals, then more power to them I guess. Myself, I would rather be out there somewhere doing my own thing. Living my own life. Chasing my own dreams.
Personally I don’t see the reward of living my life through the fantasy of me being someone else as they throw a beautiful touchdown pass for an over the shoulder reception of another person. My point is this, if I am going to live in fantasy land I want to be New York Yankee baseball star Derek Jeter’s dick. Now that is some fantasy scoring.
Just to give you tip of iceberg stuff, Jeter has put his penis in Mariah Carey, Scarlett Johansson and both Jessicas Biel and Alba. That is some straight up grade ‘A’ vagina. When that many famous women have given the green light to Jeter can you imagine just how many other women across this country who have dropped panties for this guy? Put it this way, Jeter could go 0-8 on a double header day and still score more times than anyone on the planet without ever reaching base. Hell, he could be out of the lineup on the disabled list and still bang more models and starlets before he even left his house at noon on a Tuesday.
Even though he may be slowing down these days with his engagement to actress Minka Kelly, he still gets to nail Minka Kelly on the regular. On the regular!