Posts by That.Gruden.Guy

That Gruden Guy is NOT actually that guy Jon Gruden and all columns published by That Gruden Guy are probably written by one of the other BumsLogic guys. Follow him on Twitter: @ThatGrudenGuy, tweeting about the NFL, NBA, WVU, Washington Redskins, Washington Wizards, and general sports comedy that may or may not be as funny to you as it is to that guy.

NFL Tweetview: Previewing Each Team in 140 Characters

All the NFL previews have already been written and attention spans are short. But I’m so excited that football is BACK I just had to write something. So since everything has to be “tweeted” and newscasters have to glance down at the iPads they’re holding while talking to us, I figured I might as well just make my 2012 NFL preview an “NFL tweetview” and limit myself to 140 characters or less per team. OK gang, heeeere we go:


NFC EAST

IF Mike Vick stays healthy, the #Eagles will be dangerous. They should be motivated to live up the hype. IF Vick stays health.

Washington’s D was good last year and may improve. Robert Griffin III will have ups/downs, but #Redskins could be dangerous sleeper team.

#Cowboys always have dangerous talent & mental lapses to be dangers to themselves. If O-line surprises, Dallas will be tough.

Every year I nay-say the NY #Giants and somehow they have 2 rings. But no one repeats, certainly not this lucky bullshit team.

NFC WEST

#Seahawks will be interesting with a rookie QB, great home field, and solid D with surprise 1st-rd draft pick Bruce Irvin.

#49ers should win this crappy #NFCwest, but I’m not on their Super Bowl bandwagon. I’d love to see Randy Moss return to form.

The #Rams still play in St. Louis and are now coached by Jeff Fisher. We’ll update you on them again come draft day 2013.

The Arizona #Cardinals will be so fucking terrible I don’t feel like wasting 140 characters on them. Poor Larry Fitzgerald.

NFC SOUTH

#Falcons have crazy 1-2 punch at WR, which is great for QB Matt Ryan’s fantasy stats. But can they win in the playoffs?

#Saints likely to take a small step back, but bounty suspensions wont cripple them. Drew Brees can still get them to 10 wins.

#Buccaneers could be a surprise team if QB Josh Freeman bounces back and gets help from rookie RB Doug Martin.

#Panthers will continue to be The Cam Show w/ a losing record. If Carolina builds a defense they will be a tough out someday.

 NFC NORTH

#Packers among NFL’s best, but still questions w/ RB’s & defense. Offense still could be good enough to carry them to title.

#Lions explosive offense and recent improvements are great, but I’m not ready to call them Super Bowl contenders just yet.

Da #Bears are another team I never believe in and they’re usually better than expected. Should be solid this year.

Some nice young pieces on #Vikings offense, but Minnesota defense might be too old by the time QB Christian Ponder develops.

AFC WEST

#Chargers are a bit under the radar. I see bounce-back year for QB Rivers as San Diego wins #AFCWest & a playoff game or 2.

The #Raiders just seem irrelevant. Classic silver and black uni’s and a few nice players, but they stink. Smells like 6-10.

#Chiefs have interesting RBs, good O-line. 1st/last time “interesting” & “Chiefs” were in same sentence. Romeo + Cassel = 7-9.

Peyton Manning is better than Tim Tebow, but #Broncos will miss Tebow’s magic. Chill that Super Bowl talk, Denver’s going 8-8.

AFC EAST

#Patriots have easy schedule, added WR B.Lloyd & nice draftpicks for defense. Brady ringless since ’04-05. Smells like 14-2.

#Bills QB Fitzpatrick is healthy, Defense was upgraded, and schedule is favorable. Might be a Wild Card berth for Buffalo.

#Dolphins reached for Tannehill & gave away their only good WR. Even if Tannehill is long-term answer, they’ll suck this year.

Tired of hype on the #Jets and watching their crappy games. Just make Tim Tebow a TE/H-back, a fullback “Slash” type already.

AFC NORTH

Despite nice D & young talented QB Dalton and WR Green, #Bengals will take a step back as they always do after a decent year.

#Browns rookie RB Trent Richardson might be special someday, but he & QB Weeden wont do enough to save Walrus Holmgren’s job.

#Ravens QB will prove he can be The Man. Offense will be better than aging Defense, but missing Suggs will be their downfall.

#Steelers are sleeper contenders. Injuries slowed the O-line rebuild, but Ben, Troy & gang are one of few AFC threats to Pats.

AFC SOUTH

Bounce-back year from Chris Johnson and young playmaker Jake Locker at QB will keep #Titans hanging around wildcard outskirts.

#Texans will level off. Schaub back, but Mario Williams and 2 OL-men gone. Should win division but lose first playoff game.

#Jaguars could improve, as QB Gabbert looks a bit better. But even with MJD back, this team is going nowhere (but LA).

The #Colts will still stink, but rookie QB Andrew Luck will look great racking up garbage-time stats on the way to 4-12.

 
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New Twist on an Old Game: Divisional Fantasy Football

So after winning my league Super Bowl following the 2006 season, I quit playing Fantasy Football these last few seasons. Honestly, I must say I have NOT missed it. It’s nice to enjoy football for what it is, and not end up screaming at the TV and ruining a Sunday over something stupid like “Damn, why did Brady throw it to Welker? I started Gronk!!!” That said, I’m still an idea man… and I’ve got a great idea to breathe new life into Fantasy Football for anyone getting bored or looking for a new twist:  Divisional Fantasy Football.

A new way to play might spice things up.

Each of the 8 players gets one NFL Division and can field his team from any players in that division. So the person with the NFC East could choose from Eli Manning, RGIII, Michael Vick, and Romo at QB. Meanwhile the guy with the NFC West could pencil in the San Francisco defense and Cardinals WR Larry Fitzgerald every week. Whoever drafts the AFC West would have to choose between new Denver QB Peyton Manning and Phillip Rivers of the Chargers. You get the idea.

It would sort of take the fun out of the draft, since there’d only be one round, but the guy with the first pick still has to strategize… does he take the NFC North so he’ll have Packers QB Aaron Rodgers and Lions WR Calvin Johnson? Or take the AFC North just to get Ravens RB Ray Rice and pair him with Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger, Bengals WR A.J. Green, Browns RB Trent Richardson and the Pittsburgh Defense? And of course you’d still have week to week strategy of who to start/play.

Besides semi-killing the draft element, another stumbling block is the bye week. Usually the NFL schedule has most or all teams from one division on a bye at the same time. If one division does NOT have several teams on bye the same week, then that team would have an advantage. BUT, what if you had an active/inactive roster, so you could keep most of your top players active, but still leave plenty of “free agents” for other divisions to use one-time only when their division is on bye? Maybe you’d have to leave X number of QB’s available…. Maybe each week you could move players to/from inactive list.

So I have the NFC South, and they’re all on bye except New Orleans. Maybe I start the best of the Saints players and then fill in with the unprotected players from the other divisions. Maybe force everyone to leave 1-2 QB’s from their division on an unprotected inactive list so the talent pool was decent….

Not sure if this format would work in head-to-head style of play, or more suitable to a “rotisserie” format where you don’t play against anyone, just accumulate points each week. Maybe it could be done either way.

Not sure how this idea could make money. Unless you could have a website where people would play for $10 and just spread the word around until it’s really popular. Perhaps I could copyright the concept so I could cash in if ESPN and Yahoo wanted to start offering this. Probably not, who knows. But consider this date/time-stamped blog entry as my official claim on the idea; feel free to contact me with big-money offers.

This article is an updated reprint of my original idea previously published in 2008.