Hey the Chili Peppers Released Another Chili Peppers Album!

You’d think after selling around 65 million records that they might buy a couple of shirts.

Flea and Anthony Kiedis have been doing their freaky styley funk game dance on us for a quarter century. And we’ve all been on to them in varying degrees since they laid that one hot egg the first time guitarist John Frusciante left the group. After their wild early days, highlighted by 1989’s Mother’s Milk, they broke through with both a mainstream hit and a bona fide classic in 1991 with Blood Sugar Sex Magik. Then they signed mismatched free agent guitarist Dave Navarro from Jane’s Addiction for One Hot Minute in 1995 and set the controls for autopilot.

Will Farrell stars as drummer Chad Smith (right) as Flea and Anthony Kiedis make Another Chili Peppers Album.

Californication, a good but probably overrated record was a nice hit album in 1999, proving that the Red Hot Chili Peppers on autopilot were still good enough to rule at the turn of the century. Three years later, By The Way worked the same formula like a speedbag, californicating itself into yet. Another. Chili Peppers Album.

And so it went, all-world bassist and general maniac Flea fired up the furious funk and Anthony Kiedis jumped around with different hairstyles and they never fucking wore shirts and it was all good. The underrated Chad Smith is an effortless badass of a drummer whose talents sometimes sound wasted in the tight album-version arrangements. They dropped a bloated double album five years ago that even their fans admitted was too long as they talked themselves into liking it.

But all the people who don’t love the Red Hot Chili Peppers pretty much hate them. And we all know it’s cuz Anthony Kiedis is annoying and while I’m sure he’s a great guy and he’s an essential element to their sound and “he is what he is” as they say… he still sucks. And that’s a shitty thing to say and I should delete it but fuck it, let’s leave it there.

Don’t take my word for it. Listen to their new album, I’m With You. It’s got it’s moments, but it sounds like yet another bland reincarnation of that same album they’ve been making starting with Californication. A shell of a shell of a former band. And yet Flea still rips it, and even though they sorely miss the once-again departed Frusciante, new guitarist Josh Klinghoffer provides plenty of interesting moments (and space for Flea’s musicality).

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A Monday Quiz

In the interest of getting to know the readers of Bums Logic I submit to you our first ever poll.  Please answer the question below and if you would like to expand on your answer please do  so in the comments section.

After last weekend I sure know which one I prefer.

A Complete and Total Fantasy

Fantasy Football Guru

I can't wait to play me some fantasy.

Given the onslaught of NFL updates here on BL I figure  it wouldn’t be complete without giving mention to a relatively new pastime that accompanies every professional football season. Yeah that’s right, it’s fantasy football time. If you haven’t heard of fantasy football all I can tell you is that you need to leave the house more. The shit is real and it is here to stay.

Now is the time when folks gather together, whether virtual or actual, and conduct their annual fantasy football  ‘draft’. While I want to say that this activity is partaken by only men the fact is, that couldn’t be further from the truth.  Men and women both young and old ‘play’ fantasy football. There are entire websites as well as radio broadcasts and television programs dedicated to fantasy football. The folks that are fantasy football fanatics want to be sure that they get the best insider’s take on which players they should take in order to secure the strongest team so at the end of the season they can claim victory in their fantasy football league.

The only problem I have with fantasy football…

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NFL to Exhume Hendrix for Next Super Bowl Halftime

The NFL is looking to partner with Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and other groups to fund a billion-dollar project to exhume Jimi Hendrix and bring him back to life to perform at next year’s Super Bowl halftime show.

After the horrifying debacle that was the Black Eyed Peas attempt at a musical performance, the league has set aside large sums of money freed up following their off-season revenue dispute with the players in hopes that they could make next year’s show better.

Coming back from the dead to play halftime?

“We looked into the idea of trying to get John Lennon,” one league source told us, “and we actually spoke to Yoko Ono, but she said something about getting a million people to stand in a straight line from some sacred Scandinavian territory to Iceland or something. I had no clue what she was talking about. We checked some maps, it can’t be done.”

The catalyst for this expensive and first-of-its-kind project was the abominable showing by the pop group Black Eyed Peas at Super Bowl XLV. ACME Entertainment Solutions, a group that measures this kinda stuff with ratings and surveys and something called Aggregate Blog Reaction, came out with its findings recently and rated the Black Eyed Peas performance “Fucking Horrible.”

With a Lennon deal unlikely, the committee contacted Janie Hendrix, the sister of the late guitarist and executor of his estate. “She was great,” according to the league source. “I mean she just started giving us a routing number and asking where to sign. Although there’s not much in the way of new unreleased songs in Jimi’s vault, Janie’s promised that they’d be able to come up with a release to coincide with the Super Bowl. And of course if everything works out with the science part of bringing him back to life, we all look forward to meeting Jimi. We’re big fans.”

NFL Preview: Bitter Bills Fan

Here comes the NFL, but over the years I turned into more of a college fan, because, well, I’m a Bills fan…

Can you blame me?

Buffalo NY Helmet

In order to avoid litigation I have made my own helmet design for the professional football team located in Buffalo, NY.

As a Bills fan I have experienced nothing but disappointment. Even the most casual football fan knows about Super Bowl XXV and ‘wide right.’ Many will say that has to be the pinnacle of the disappointment.  Of course those same folk can point to the fact that the Bills were an 8 point favorite in the game and should have very well beaten the Giants that evening without the help of Scott Norwood’s foot needed to kick a 47 yard field goal to win.  After the game people were calling for his head for missing a FOURTY SEVEN yard field goal.  Never mind that at that distance the percentage of all field goal kickers is less than 50%.  To blame Norwood for the loss is disingenuous.

Scott Norwood is certainly not to blame for the next THREE Super Bowl losses the Bills endured.  Are you kidding me?  Four losses in a row?  Again, even the most casual football fan knows that number.  At least Bills have company with Vikings fans.

Yes four consecutive Super Bowl losses hurt.  But do you know what hurts even more? Poor officiating.  Allow me set the stage for you.

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Top Ten Do’s and Don’ts When It Comes To Gigging

Screeeaaaammm for me Long Beach!!!!

As both a purveyor and listener of music I sometimes find myself amused by the entire live gig atmosphere. Don’t get me wrong, I still love seeing and playing live music, I just wanted to put together a list for musicians in bands to read. Call it a list of do’s and don’ts when it comes to playing in a band from both the perspective of audience member and/or bandmate:

  1. During soundcheck please say something into the mic besides “check one-two.”
  2. When applying the master volume to your amp on stage or in rehearsal try to do it while all the other instruments are playing so you get a real level. Your amp will always sound loud when you just hear it by itself.
  3. Same goes for singers. Of course you can hear yourself in the monitors during the “check one-two” phase of soundcheck. There aren’t two guitars of wailing feedback exploiting your eardrums.
  4. I know most musicians have their “go to” riff/beat when it comes warming up/soundchecking, do your bandmates a favor and try and come up with something new.
  5. Avoid dead air space between songs. Nothing is more awkward than the silence of a room when a band is between songs. Tell a joke. Tell a story. Promote your band name/next gig/album. Get a loop pedal so you can throw feedback on for two minutes and call it a segway into the next song. Tell the audience to fuck off. Anything. Please. The silence is killing us all!
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Carving a Heart in The Joshua Tree

They had to go all the way out there just to make the guitars echo like that.

Perhaps the least-cool thing to do in 2011 would be to write an essay on the greatness of U2’s The Joshua Tree album from 1987. I mean, you might get away with singing the praises of 1991’s Achtung Baby, seeing as it’s getting the deluxe makeover remaster reissue bonanza for it’s 20th anniversary this year. And it might be cool to write about The Joshua Tree being terrible and overrated, because the contrary opinion always generates interest.

While Achtung Baby has, for a while now, become the consensus “Best/Favorite” U2 album (itself a contrary opinion once upon a time), The Joshua Tree is the pinnacle and quintessential U2 effort, an epic rock album and in my opinion the best album by this hate-’em-if-ya-want-to legendary band. The two albums certainly represent not only the band’s peak, but also the collective moment when they pivoted. One of my favorite Bono quotes is his description of Achtung Baby as “four men chopping down The Joshua Tree.”

Let’s skip all the peripheral items that don’t matter (Bono’s politics and charitable efforts, whether or not U2 is “overrated”), strip away all the hype and bullshit, and simply discuss the music.

I’ll start where the album starts: “Where the Streets Have No Name.” This is the ultimate U2 song. Maybe it’s not their “best” pure song, but it might be my favorite and their most representative track. If someone had no clue, if they came from the future or the past or from another planet, you could just play that song and say THIS is what U2 is. Play it loud. The way the intro fades in and soon engulfs you in The Edge’s spider web of arpeggio notes drizzling down on you from the delay pedal. And then the bass changes notes and pretty soon the drums come running and racing in and you are charging toward something.

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