Need Cash?

I recently returned from some much needed R&R taken on the sandy beaches of the Florida gulf coast.

The trip was amazing.  The water was clear and warm while the beach was clean and not crowded in the least bit.  I got to lay around and really enjoy some time away from my work and home life.

Given that I was on vacation I went ahead and spent some money on things that I probably would usually not.  For the first time ever I rented a wave runner, which to be perfectly honest, was a little scary at times.  Zipping along at +40 MPH can make you think that should you be thrown from the vehicle, even though you are going to land on water, the shit is going to hurt.  Nevertheless, I pressed on and had a field day out there on the open water tearing it up.

On top of the wave running adventure I took in the fun past time of mini-golf.  I also spent some time in a rather large human maze which while somewhat fun I was ready to be out of that thing after about 15 minutes.  Additionally on my trip I ate well.  I am an ardent believer that the solid cornerstone of vacation travel is fantastic dining.  Without good meals on your journeys, you might as well have stayed at home.

It wasn’t until I got home that I realized that all of the fun activities I enjoyed came with a price tag.  Sure zipping around the maze on a wave runner while eating a waygu steak and cheese was the tits, it is also a little costly. Thankfully I am gainfully employed as a contributor for Bums Logic so I could easily afford my vacation luxuries without having to duck my landlord with the rent for the month.

Having the money to go on vacation is great but still, wouldn’t it be great to have some additional money to help finance my adventures? Sure a Holiday Inn is comfortable enough but aren’t the 1000 count sheets and jacuzzi tub in the Omni properties just a little more comfortable? Amirite?

So after looking at my bank balance and considering my income I thought about ways in which I could supplement my cash flow.  After a long Sunday of watching some professional football I have come up with a fail safe plan that I am willing to share with all of you.

Money making schemes come and go with the frequency of the midnight train going anywhere.  My plan is nothing like that at all. I am sharing it with you here because I know there is plenty of $$$ out there for all of us.  So do you want to make a little cash that can help you finance your next wonderful vacation to an exotic port of call?  Of course you do!  Here goes.

I decided to place an ad on a local BDSM website as a master in search of a sub.  In the ad I was certain to make it clear that this was not going to be a sexual relationship of any kind.  This is important because I didn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea about the nature of the master/sub relationship that I was offering.   Now I am not the most versed in the ways of BDSM but from what I gather as the ‘Master’ I get to whip the ever living shit out of my slave.  This relationship is all about the sub bending to my every whim and for my services as the ‘Master’ the ‘sub’ must pay me to clean my house while I follow them around with a whip in order to keep them properly motivated.  Thank god I know of a place that has a full stock of riding crops.

The Gimp

Bring me my money you worthless swine!

Now you might be thinking, who would pay for something like that?  The answer will stun you because it can be anyone.  It could be the person sitting in the cube next to you and you might not even know that they are into using their tongue to clean a stove top.  Believe me there are tons of folks out there that are into this shit.  As a bonus for me, I live in Washington DC and there are a myriad of folks around that hold positions of power all over the city. The gamut is wide ranging from members of congress, their staffers and K St lawyer types. Many of these folks boss people around all day but what they really want, what they really desire, is to be beaten down and subjugated so much so that they are willing to pay hard earned cash to be dominated.

The results of my plan – I have a fucking spotless apartment and that much sought after supplemental income that I am tucking away for my next vacation getaway.  And because I am such a strict task master I now have three different ‘slaves’  scheduled come to my apartment every month.  The difficult part of these relationships for me is making my place dirty enough for my little pukes to clean.  Well, in reality it isn’t that difficult.  Spilled a little arrabiata sauce on a couch cushion? No worries, one of my subs will be coming by tomorrow.  Sure I probably shouldn’t let the stain set in but the thought of the look of satisfaction of one of my sub’s face as they gather their first site of the dirty naughty stain that needs to be cleaned…all I hear is a cash register.

Have you ever heard of Costa Rica?  I have and I am looking to spend a good bit of time enjoying rum drinks from a hollowed pineapple with a tiny umbrella sticking out of the top. Bueno vacaciones, suckers!

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