People Asked, I Answered

Since I have been writing for Bums Logic the administrators have been inundated with letters and emails from readers of the blog that have been addressed to yours truly, JrWorthy42. At the behest of my editors I have done my best to personally reply to each and everyone of them.

Email

You asked, I answered. It is the least I could do.

However, given the immense volume of messages that are sent to me I am not able to always reply in a timely manner. If you are one of the many folks that have taken the time to write in with questions for me, please know that I am doing my best to ensure that you receive a personal reply.  If it is the case that you do not hear from me personally it probably has to do with the fact that I get creeped out by some of you from time to time.  In those cases perhaps it is best that you take it personally because it is you and not me.

To the guy that requested a clean pair of my underwear, why? If there is one way to make me feel uncomfortable asking for a pair of my freshly washed boxer briefs will get you sent to the front of the line for those that will never have their request met. I mean, a clean pair?  Weird.

While I do my best to respond to every message I thought that answering some of the messages here on the blog would be a real treat not only for those who wrote but for every reader and fan.  So without further ado,

Dear Mr Worthy,
I read somewhere that while attending a football game you once filled a 32 oz cup with piss.  Is that true? I thought that the human bladder could only hold about a third of that.
Completely curious,
Ricky

Ricky the story you read is in fact true. I was taking in a college level American football contest while attending university.  The game pitted my alma mater against a nationally ranked hated rival.  The stands were filled beyond capacity and the aisle were jammed packed with members of the student body that did not arrive in time to find a seat.  Had I chosen to make my way to the facilities it would have been unlikely for me to be able to return to the my seat with my friends.  The only option I had to relieve the pressure in my bladder was to evacuate either in the open and possibly shower fellow classmates with my urine or find an empty vessel.  As fate would have it I found a cup and I improvised.  I am not proud but I will say that I did fill the 32 oz plastic souvenir commemorative cup with my urine. To add to the story, for some reason my urine had a greenish tint to it. Weird, right?

Jr,
I know you are an avid TV watcher, so I just gotta know. What is your favorite episode of the ‘Law & Order’ or any of the franchise whether it be SVU, Criminal Intent?
Betty

That is a great question Betty. I have to say that is a tough one for me but here goes; I have to say my favorite episode of the entire L&O franchise has to be the one where they thought they had the right suspect after the cops conducted their initial investigation but then that person happens to be innocent. Then the cops find the right suspect and make the arrest.  The part that really gets me in that episode is how the DA’s are able to get the real dirt on the suspect by holding them in jail because they found out that they had unpaid tax debts while the cops help them finish building their case ensuring a conviction.  Love that one!

Less than Worthy,
I have to say that I find your post to be a waste of internet space.  Your writing is shit and your grammar is shit too. Plus I fucked your mom!
Unsigned

Dad?

JrWorthy,
I know that your expertise falls in the category of culture reporting but I am wondering if you could provide sound investment advice.  I recently inherited a shit ton of money from an aunt that I barely even liked and I really want to make that money grow.  What do you think? Mutual funds? Stocks? Bonds? Treasury notes?
Tina

Tina,
I wish I could answer your question however, the Bums Logic legal team has requested that I refrain from giving investment advice. They say it is a liability issue. Sorry I can’t help you with great detail but after running it by legal they have informed me that I can say ‘Legumes.’ Emerging market trends may be pointing to the legume.

That is all for now faithful readers. Keep your questions coming and I will do my best to respond.  You never know, your question could wind up in a future post for everyone to read and enjoy.

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