Bite a Dick You Quivering Douche Bag

In or around 2004 fellow Bums Logic blogger Todd.Levinson.Frank and I had a web site called Eight Track Mind. It was partially our bands site along with what was essentially a blog. We wrote stuff and posted it our site much like we do here. Only that back then blogs weren’t as big as they are today.  When we launched Bums Logic we re-posted some of our favorite writings from that site and dated them as such. Top Ten Most Overrated Musicians/Bands or Pink Floyd’s Discography Review are two such posts now appearing on Bums Logic. A third re-post was of a semi-controversial topic: Top Ten Reasons Why Neil Young Is Better Than Bob Dylan. Ha! What idiocy I have writing such things. So I am a fan of Neil Young and Bob Dylan I just happen to lean more towards Neil. When I wrote the piece I was looking to rile up some online conversations and partially trying to play a devil’s advocate to the oft held belief that Dylan is the bees knees.

The original posting led to some interesting exchanges with readers. Mostly Dylan-loving loyalists who were astonished to be reading such ridiculous nonsense. And let me remind you about this or any other blog: In the end, it’s all ridiculous. Posts are written based on opinions because that is what each and every one of us has that is 100% unique to ourselves: our opinion. It could be ones based on taste: Hey, I like that beat and singer. It could be based on influence: My friend Matt said he heard this band, check em out. Or it could be just a pure gut-feeling about something.

I understand the need for some people to take full advantage of their free speech and post comments on as many blogs as they choose. They are at least making themselves part of a conversation. When it can lead to fluent, thought-provoking dialogue then you have nothing but knowledge to gain from it.  But when it comes to the point where someone feels the need to express themselves by opining on your state-of-mind or throwing personal insults at you, well, then its all fair game my friends.

I am here to address a recent comment on my re-posting of Top Ten Reasons Why Neil Young Is Better Than Bob Dylan. The comment was written (and immediately published) as such:

“this is a piece of shit excuse for an opinion. i like how you said you have 10 reasons to back up your theory, but the tenth reason is just you explaining how you’re a douche with too much time on your hands. all you did was state a couple of opinions that most people will disagree with. dylan covers to me are atrocious. bob dylan: mr. tambourine man, like a rolling stone, the times they are a changing, etc. are all fucking classics, wtf did neil young do that can compare to any of those? bite a dick you quivering douche bag.”–Stephan Jones

Dear Mr. Jones,
You log in online with your mouse in your hand you see somebody blogging and you say, “Who is that man?” You try so hard but you don’t understand just what you’ll say when comment. But you do say something…something quite extraordinary: That I am a douche with too much time on my hands. Ironic, seeing as to how you are taking your time to comment on a blog while expressing how I am the one with too much of it on my hand.

I am sure you have been with the professors and they all like your looks and the conversations about lepers and Fitzgerald was stimulating but they will undoubtedly disagree with your assessment of Dylan covers being “atrocious.” All Along The Watchtower by Hendrix? Not good? What about the entire I’m Not There soundtrack? Surely you enjoy Willie and Calexico singing Señor (Tales of Yankee Power), Tom Verlaine covering Cold Irons Bound, Mason Jennings rendition of The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll or Jim James belting out Goin’ To Acapulco?

Your lumberjack contacts at the tax-deductible charity organizations will also tell you that Dylan doesn’t own all of the greatest songs ever written. If you really want to break it down then I won’t ever argue against Dylan’s lyrical brilliance, but let me shed a little bit of light on you about some of Neil’s finer works. Please read the lyrics to Thrasher or side two of On The Beach.  It might not be a classic such as Like a Rolling Stone but After The Gold Rush contains some incredible writing as well.

So yes, maybe Neil doesn’t match up in terms of the classics or even legendary status, but please, I will do no such thing as bite someones penis off while quivering and rinsing my vagina because of it.

Sincerely,

Jaded \m/

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