Why I Don’t Pirate Music

I don’t pirate music because it would make me feel like an asshole.  Plain and simple.  Sure I could use a program like Bit Torrent and download the latest Beyonce album for free but I have to ask myself “Why?”  Why would I do it? Because it is free?  Come on man, turn down that noise.

I’m a grown up and I have a job.  Being gainfully employed comes with the benefit of steady income.  By no means am I raking in the mad dollars but I certainly make enough money to be comfortable in my current lifestyle.  Do I have a phat crib and a sweet ride?  No. I think much of that has to do with the fact that I don’t really desire such things at this point in my life.

Bit Torrent

Bit Torrent: All of the cool kids are doing it.

What I can afford and what I do want in my life is the occasional new album from <<insert artist’s name here>> and yes I am willing to pay for it. I don’t really care if I am helping make some Record Exec’s bonus higher or if I am helping pay for <<insert artist’s name here>> next heroin fix. If I can afford to pay, then I pay. If I can’t afford new music then I have to do without.

Now I understand the illegal download thing.  If you are a super huge fan of an artist and you already own a majority if not all of their catalog then you might be interested in acquiring a copy of some of their live performances.  I mean who doesn’t love Springsteen at Madison Square Garden in ’82?  Fans will download live albums because they want to hear the performances of their favorite bands despite the fact that it was recorded in the back of the venue using five Sennheiser shotgun booms using a flux impeding STK 5000 pocket condenser and sounds like shit.  Hey, who am I to judge because you are a true fan?  Killer, dude.

Or do I understand?

I cannot, for the life of me, wonder why someone would want to download files from a complete stranger just because they really, really want to have the new album/live bootleg from <<insert artist’s name here>>.  To me it doesn’t make sense.  It is like banging that hot chick you met at the bar last night without any protection.  You don’t really know her all that well but you really, really want to play the old in/out, in/out. If you want to download files from strangers you might as well go ahead and get ready to call tech support because sooner or later it is going to burn when you pee.

Now this is where the naysayers will want to chime in, “Whatever Brah! You can’t live your life in a shell.  Don’t be so paranoid.  Not everyone is out there to get you.”  To this I agree, not everyone is out to get me.  However, it only takes one little case of herpes and instead of being able to afford legal music downloads I am waiting in line at the drug store for a Valtrex prescription.  No thanks.



  1. What kind of Boss fan are you that you don’t even know about his one night show in April of ’82 at MSG? What, do you think he was too busy recoding Born in the USA? Pffffft!


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